Excerpts from President Ezra Taft Benson’s talk “Beware of Pride,” Ensign, May 1989
1. Most of us think of pride as self-centeredness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness. All of these are elements of the sin, but the heart, or core, is still missing.
2. The central feature of pride is enmity—enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. Enmity means “hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition.” It is the power by which Satan wishes to reign over us.
3. Another major portion of this very prevalent sin of pride is enmity toward our fellowmen. We are tempted daily to elevate ourselves above others and diminish them… The proud make every man their adversary by pitting their intellects, opinions, works, wealth, talents, or any other worldly measuring device against others. Some prideful people are not so concerned as to whether their wages meet their needs as they are that their wages are more than someone else’s. Their reward is being a cut above the rest. This is the enmity of pride.
4. Pride is a sin that can readily be seen in others but is rarely admitted in ourselves. Most of us consider pride to be a sin of those on the top, such as the rich and the learned, looking down at the rest of us. There is, however, a far more common ailment among us—and that is pride from the bottom looking up. It is manifest in so many ways, such as faultfinding, gossiping, backbiting, murmuring, living beyond our means, envying, coveting, withholding gratitude and praise that might lift another, and being unforgiving and jealous.
5. Selfishness is one of the more common faces of pride. “How everything affects me” is the center of all that matters—self-conceit, self-pity, worldly self-fulfillment, self-gratification, and self-seeking.
6. The scriptures testify that the proud are easily offended and hold grudges. They withhold forgiveness to keep another in their debt and to justify their injured feelings.
7. The proud depend upon the world to tell them whether they have value or not. Their self-esteem is determined by where they are judged to be on the ladders of worldly success. They feel worthwhile as individuals if the numbers beneath them in achievement, talent, beauty, or intellect are large enough. Pride is ugly. It says, “If you succeed, I am a failure.”… If we love God, do His will, and fear His judgment more than men’s, we will have self-esteem.
8. The antidote for pride is humility—meekness, submissiveness. It is the broken heart and contrite spirit… Let us choose to be humble. We can choose to humble ourselves by conquering enmity toward our brothers and sisters, esteeming them as ourselves, and lifting them as high or higher than we are…by receiving counsel and chastisement …by forgiving those who have offended us…by rendering selfless service… by getting to the temple more frequently... by confessing and forsaking our sins and being born of God… by loving God, submitting our will to His, and putting Him first in our lives. Let us choose to be humble. We can do it. I know we can.
I started by drawing a picture of "Sister Jones" on the board. (A lovely stick figure, representing any of God's children here on the earth.) On one side of Sister Jones, was written "Better Than" and on the other side was written "Worse Than". I explained that most of the time when we think of pride we think of the attributes listed in #1--people who think they are better than or above other people. But when it comes down to it, people who think they are worse than others are proud too. In both cases the person focuses on themselves--whether it's self-aggrandizement or self-depreciation they seek to justify their hostility toward others, lack of love toward others, and centering their thoughts and actions on themselves rather than on uplifting those around them. Every attribute listed in quotes 1 through 8 above can be listed under the category of "Better Than" or Worse Than", most of them falling under both categories. For example, in both cases we are easily offended, seek to justify ourselves, blame others, and withhold forgiveness. Only when we humble ourselves and see ourselves as equals to those around us (as we are all beloved children of God) can we freely love, forgive, and uplift those around us. We attribute good motives to others' behavior rather than assuming the worst intentions. We have a heart at peace toward others instead of at war, contending against them in our heart.
(Some of these ideas I first learned as a missionary from my mission president's wife Larraine Swenson. Some of them I learned in a book I read recently called "The anatomy of peace" by the Arbinger institute.)
One sweet sister in my ward came to me the next day with a poem that she had written after my lesson! :
Be a Happy Person
Wanta be a happy person?
Lift yourself from pride,
Don’t feel high and don’t feel low,
Turn to God, enjoy the ride.
Wanta be a helpful person?
Lift someone from sin,
God forgives repentant souls,
You can help, make that one win.
Wanta be a caring person?
Care for someone’s life,
They can change if you will help,
They don’t need the pain and strife.
Wanta be a faithful person?
Faithful to the end,
People change and you can change,
When you try to be a friend.
Then you’ll be a hopeful person,
Hopeful to the view
Of showing friends that you love,
As Christ showed his love for you.
~Arlene Love Andrus
